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MARCH 2001
Volume 2 Number 3

Teachers.Net celebrates 5 years this month! Read about how teachers across the planet have visited and contributed to shape this most dynamic of collaborative educator projects!
Effective Teaching by Harry & Rosemary Wong
Promoting Learning by Marv Marshall
Alfie Kohn Article
4 Blocks by Cheryl Sigmon
School Psychologist by Beth Bruno
Jan Fisher Column
BCL Classroom by Kim Tracy
Reform Demands on Educators
Bullies: Advice for Teachers
Around the Block With...
Are Black Children Treated Differently?
The Cherub
Brain Awareness Week
Celebrating Dr. Seuss
The Issue of Violence in Our Schools
Rethinking How We Raise Teenagers
Contextual Clarity Before Curricular Concept
Early Mainstreaming for Visually Impaired
How Do You Stop a Bully?
Technology Integration
Is Distance Learning For You?
Short Fiction Paradigm Shift
The Unsinkable Sub
Things I Learned From My Daughter
Preventing Rules From Falling Apart
Web News & Events
Upcoming Ed Conferences
Letters to the Editor
New in the Lesson Bank
Humor from the Classroom
Help Wanted - Teaching Jobs
Gazette Back Issues
Gazette Home Delivery:

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© John P. Wood for Learning Laffs  


10. Cloned replica of myself to attend faculty meetings

 9. Automatic Butt Kisser to save time going to the office

 8. Machine to instantly evaporate anyone who uses the term ADD

 7. An out of order copy machine for the central office

 6. An automatic CHECK YOUR ZIPPER buzzer

 5. Electric fence around my desk

 4. Video teaching from more wearing pants

 3. Watercooler connected to a 50 gallon drum of powdered Xanax

 2. Half-meat, half rubber pizza for when the superintendent comes to lunch

 1. Electronic phone device that will sound an ear piercing blast when anyone calls on report card night

by Goose/TX (

Having lived on the high plains for several decades, I have begun to wonder where the low plains are located. With that in mind, why are we considered to be living in West Texas while folks several hundred miles south of us are considered to be located in North Texas? What Iím wondering is if we are considered to be located in West Texas, where is El Paso considered to be located?

How would a person react if I were to suggest that I would like to move south to North Texas? Naturally, the person would consider me a bit looney when I stated that I was traveling south to move north. Somehow, this situation appears to me to be a double negative which would result in my actually living in South Texas when in fact I am living in West Texas.

I have learned that English and math rules always have exceptions, and this is probably one of those exceptions. So how do I explain to my students that even though we are located several hundred miles north of North Texas, we are considered to be living in West Texas, even though we are several hundred miles east of the western edge of Texas?

Teaching middle school is difficult enough without some practical joker throwing in a few misguided labels on the state of Texas. How can I explain this situation to my students? In this instance, Einsteinís theory of relativity has no bearing and is totally inapplicable. Hopefully, this situation will not be presented on the infamous TAAS test.

Iím also wondering how I can explain this unusual situation to my students who are currently studying the weather. I assume that they have learned that as a person travels northward, the temperatures generally become cooler. How in the world can I explain to them that the temperatures in North Texas are actually warmer than in West Texas?

I suppose that Iíll just have to explain to them that this is another instance in life when common sense is not applicable. To additionally illustrate this paradox to my students, I could attempt to explain to them the real difference between soft water and hard water. However, upon additional consideration, how could I possibly convince them that hard water isnít ice and soft water is regular water?

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© John P. Wood for Learning Laffs