Reading, Writing, Zip-Locks, and "The Rest of Us"
by Goose/TX (email@example.com)
Acquiring a formal education was a formidable struggle for me which I stumbled through but somehow managed to receive a college degree. During my public school years, if those bumper stickers about a son or daughter being on the honor roll would had been around, my parents wouldn't have had a reason to purchase one on my account.
During my grade school years I always wondered what it would be like to be in the Bluebird reading group, but I never had that experience. I can't remember what my reading group's name was, but it was probably the Buzzards or Turkeys.
I remember an event that occurred in music during my elementary years. In preparation for a music concert for our parents, the teacher separated us into two groups: those who could sing in tune and the "rest of us." The "better singers" were to dress up nicely, stand on risers, and sing a variety of songs. The "rest of us" were to dress up like bums and sing "Shortnen Bread."
On the night of the concert, after the "better singers" finished their performance, and the parents acknowledged them with polite applause, our bedraggled group scrambled onto the stage. As we exuberantly launched into our performance, the parents began to laugh louder and louder. We suddenly realized that we were a hit and boisterously concluded our act along with a few unplanned antics. The parents were roaring with laughter and awarded us with a huge applause. The "rest of us" couldn't believe what was happening. We had stolen the show, we had out done the "better singers," we were somebody! Needless to say…so I won't say it, or more appropriately, write it.
I also became well acquainted with the back section of classrooms, but not by choice. In several of my classes, the teachers would place those who made the highest grades each six weeks on the front row and progress toward the back of the room for "the rest of us" with the lower grades. That practice really didn't bother me much because I could engage in activities other than learning the lesson.
I always enjoyed drawing cartoons of people and have gotten into binds several times because of my depictions. While in the second grade, I was drawing a picture of a boy relieving himself, using a dotted line to represent the liquid waste product. The boy next to me and I thought that we were quietly snickering about the picture when miraculously out of nowhere, materialized the teacher right beside me. She quickly snatched up my cartoon, and I think that I experienced another encounter with her board of education.
These memories surfaced as I was wondering why I hadn't learned certain lessons during my education. I wish that I had been paying attention when the teacher was explaining how to open a cellophane bag of chips without ripping it down the side and spilling the chips all over the counter. During the lesson of properly sealing a zip-lock bag, I must have been daydreaming, because I never learned that lesson. The art of opening and closing one of those cereal boxes with the little tab that fits into a slot must have been explained while I was drawing a cartoon.
However, after realizing that teachers know everything, and that I should have paid more attention in school, I made an astute decision. I married a teacher, and it paid off because she knows all about cellophane bags, zip-locks, and cereal boxes.
I was sitting with a few kindergartners and we were discussing what finger to use when you point to read. I asked a little boy which hand he used and he showed me. I said, oh, you use your right hand. Another little boy said, well if that is your right hand, which one is your wrong hand? It took everything in me not to start laughing. I explained about right and left hands, and right can be yes, the correct answer. They got more confused I think!
Today we were working on rhyming families. We were working on the -eep family. We got to the word weep. I asked, "Does anyone know what this word means?" One of my little girls was so excited, "I do, I do" practically jumping out of her seat. I replied, "Well what is it?" She said, "I eat it every morning. You know Cream of Weep." They can be so cute and innocent.
Hope this tickles you the way it did me:o)
I love that "Cream of Weep" and I love when we find out how things sound to our kids. Of course we Texans have our own way of saying things but we honestly don't know how we sound until someone points it out to us. Once when I was teaching the "ar" sound I gave examples like car and star. One of my little Texans said "I know one...arn". Because I didn't quite get it, I asked him to use it in a sentence and he said, "My mom arns the clothes." That has been one of my favorites.
On the same note as Cream of Weep...We were working on the letter B. I asked the kids to tell me words that begin with the "b" sound. One little guy, one of my higher ones, as a matter of fact, raised his hand said "bsgetti". It took everything in me not to break out laughing.
My kids had an art lesson about Pablo Piccasso. When the art teacher asked if they remembered the artist name, they said "Paco Pistachio."
OK- this is my funny things kids say/write. Last year one of my first graders wrote, "The smorning..." I cracked up when I realized that he heard and thus wrote "The smorning" for "This morning."
I'll share a funny. Our room smoke detector keeps going off for no reason so they send out a repair guy. This guy walks into the classroom and starts setting up the ladder when one of my 1st graders looks at him, studies him for a moment and says to me "He's not your husband!" Then another one says "He must be her boyfriend."
They are precious.
This week, Red Ribbon Week, as you all know, we tied red ribbons inside an outline of the letters to make up "Drug Free." One of my students said, "Ms. Berke, I can read it! it says Free Drug!"
We were reading a book about the seasons so I asked the class before we began reading if they knew any of the seasons. One kid raised his hand and said, "Pepper!"
As we studied fairy tales, I read several different versions to the class. One day, a student piped up, "Oh, goody! Another virgin!"
These are making me laugh. They say teachers should write a book. We were finishing up our bat unit yesterday. In response to the question what do bats eat. A little boy was so proud of his sentence he came to show me. It read: Bats eat farts. I know he meant fruit and read fruit but it sure was a funny way to end a hectic week.
Latest Posts on the Classroom Humor Chatboard...