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by Goose

I recently became involved in a rather comical email exchange with an English teacher. At some point during the conversation I was asked, "If you donít mind," to which I replied, "I never mind." I then realized that there were possible multiple interpretations to this conversation. The previous exchange could be interpreted as one person threatening another, and the other defying the threat. Mind you, this rather strange and acceptable use of the word "mind" began to intrigue me.

Iíve heard parents comment that their children never mind, but Iíve also heard those same parents tell their children, "Never mind." Whatís a child to think? Hopefully, the child doesnít think that his parents actually believe that he doesnít have a mind. Unfortunately, the child may become understandably perplexed by the contradictory statements from his parents. Is he to mind, or is he to never mind?

Upon consulting my dictionary for clarification of the meaning of the word, "mind," I only became more confused. Bear in mind that I have an open mind, and I donít mind reading through multiple definitions of a single word before I make up my mind concerning such apparently mindless issues. However, at times Iíve had half a mind to speak my mind when certain ideas cross my mind while sifting through multiple definitions of a word.

Iíve decided that understanding the word "mind," is indeed a mind-bending experience. I have a half a mind to pay no mind to the next person who tells me to "never mind." This entire situation blows my mind and causes a phrase to cross my mind: "A mind is a terrible thing to waste." I wonder which definition of mind this phrase is referring to?

That reminds me. Last week, I was informed that I was "losing it" since I turned 50. I presumed that the mindless folks were referring to my mind. If any of you have found my mind, would you mind attaching it to an email and sending it to me?? If not, well, never mind!

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