HUMOR FROM THE CLASSROOM...
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TOP TEN SIGNS THAT THE JANITOR DOESN'T LIKE YOU
by YENDOR (email@example.com)
10. He sweeps dirt INTO your room.
9. When changing a light bulb, he has you hold on to the bulb and turns you around and around.
8. After fixing the leg on your chair, he leaves you a bill for it.
7. He says, "that chair wouldn't have been like that if you weren't so fat!"
6. When you get to school each morning, he has written a nasty note about you on the chalkboard.
5. After searching all morning for your lunch, you see him eating it in the lunchroom.
4. When cutting the grass he always aims the grass shooter at you.
3. He can't explain the fact why fifteen live chickens were in your room this morning.
2. You find a voodoo doll with your name on it in the teacher bathroom.
1. He wears a cap with your picture on it that says, "I don't like him!"
SOMETHING TO CHEW ON
by Goose/TX (firstname.lastname@example.org)
In July, we enjoyed our third year of meeting with our internet teacher friends from Teachers.Net in Colorado Springs. Unfortunately, the temperatures were above ninety degrees, but a trip to Pikeís Peek cooled us off sufficiently. While we were enjoying our noon meal at a local establishment, I experienced a strange encounter. While I was enjoying my meal, I found what I assumed was a rather large bone chip in my food. I commented on its size and dropped it onto the table. A teacher friend studied it briefly and informed me that it wasnít a bone chip but part of my tooth. Sure enough, after I probed my teeth with my tongue, I discovered that I was indeed missing a large portion of a tooth.
During our trip home, my wife attempted to contact a dentist but was unsuccessful. After arriving home, I was eventually able to contact a dentist and schedule an appointment. When I arrived at the dentistís office, the receptionist, whom I had previously met at the golf course, presented me with necessary paper work. One question simply asked, "What is your main concern?" Without hesitation, I wrote "Pain!" The receptionist assured me that I would not have to be concerned with pain because they had gas. I immediately asked her if they served "Gas X" tablets along with their gas, but I was informed that their gas didnít require "Gas X."
Afterwards, I was led into an appropriate room where I was introduced to an assistant whom I had also met at the golf course. After I explained to her what my problem was, she ventured a look into my mouth and immediately exclaimed, "Oh My Gosh!!" She then added, "Oh, I suppose that weíre not supposed to say that to the patients." My past had caught up with me. Soon afterwards, the receptionist and the doctorís daughter arrived in the room. I assumed that they wanted to view the spectacle, but I decided that all of the laughing had lured them in.
We were all enjoying a pleasant discussion concerning the game of golf when the receptionist left the room and returned with a putter and a golf ball. The putter was a plastic replica of an oversized tooth which had been sliced in half to provide the necessary flat surface of a putter. I couldnít believe my luck! What a wonderful dentistís office! While I was waiting for the doctor to arrive, I was able to practice my putting.
After putting for a short time, the doctor arrived and introduced himself to me. In reply, I said, " Nice to meet you I heard that you have gas." He momentarily displayed a rather perplexed look before replying with a threatening look that he had read an article which I had previously written about dentists and pain. For the second time that day, my past had caught up with me.
After the doctor briefly studied my broken tooth, he stated that a temporary filling was required. Upon hearing the word, "filling," vast memories of various dentists flashed into my mind along with flashbacks of drilling, burning teeth, and searing pain. I prepared for the worst. Miraculously, there was no drilling, no smoke, and no pain.
How was this possible?!! How was I able to visit a dentistís office, socialize with several amicable girls, practice my putting, and have my tooth repaired without any pain? Thatís not natural!
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