Send your questions to kioni@trutransformationcoaching. com and check back next month to see if I answer it here or on our video blog at www. myclassroomrules. com.

My Supervisor Hates Me!

Hi Kioni,

-So Frustrated, Queens, NY

Hi Frustrated,

Sounds like you have a challenge on your hands! Dealing with a hard-to-please supervisor can certainly be frustrating. I also think it is very admirable of you to want to take a stand on this issue and speak to your assistant principal about how you are feeling . The first thing to consider though is this: On a scale of 1-10, how urgent is it for you to discuss this with her? You said in your post that she is not your direct supervisor. Is your contact with her so often that you really need to address this for your professional sake? If not, I wonder how necessary it is for you to confront her, especially given how you say she reacts to you anyway.

The next thing to think about is how you are going to bring this conversation up to your supervisor. This can prove to be a very sensitive area to tread in for a lot of reasons, and you definitely want to make sure you keep it professional if you know what I mean. What I’d like you to do is create at least two scenarios in your head. For each scenario try out a different approach for addressing your supervisor and pay close attention to how you feel about the “virtual interaction” you are having. The one that feels best to you is probably the one you should go with. Your feelings are like a personal guidance counselor and they always tell you whether or not something you’re pondering is a good idea. If it doesn’t feel that good, tweak it a little until in meets your internal criteria. If it feels purely good…you’re well on your way!

Luv,

K

Are These Kids Just Crazy?

Hello Kioni,

Sincerely,

Are These Kids Just Crazy? Brooklyn, NY

Dear Crazy (no pun intended),

I think you have some very creative solutions to a very common problem in our school system today. I think meditation is a healthy practice, and if used correctly, can be very useful in the classroom. As long as you don’t relate it to any spiritual practice, you should be fine. Your idea about using read-alouds to connect students to their emotional selves is also a great idea. I personally recommend the Chicken Soup for the Soul series for its very real stories that students can connect to on a deep level. There are Chicken Soup books for all age groups, but since you teach 8^th grade in particular, there are quite a few Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul books around. They cover many subjects from love and relationships to dealing with loss and dealing with school. Using those books to focus students in on what is important to them is not only a good motivator, but also a great way to help them get to know themselves in this crazy world they live in so they can feel more empowered in the choices they make about their own lives.

Now, as far as providing therapy in class, you are right on many levels. One, yes the students are assigned to guidance counselors if deemed necessary, but that is because, as you said, we as educators don’t have the time nor the resources to deal with it in class. The one thing that we can do is to create a nurturing environment for these students which shows them a true example of what it means for someone to really care about them as people and not just as bodies in a classroom that are supposed to be taught but can’t be because they are “ bad,” “ disruptive,” or “ unmotivated. “ It is important that we rule with an iron hand but love with a open heart. It’s often funny just how “sane” some children can be when they know they are in the presence of a teacher who they can tell really cares about them. That is the key. There is a difference between saying we care about students and showing them we care about them. They can pick up on the subtlest of clues, and they do respond to them. How do you currently demonstrate your concern, love, and respect for your students in class? This question should give you a check point as to what you are giving off to them energetically, especially if you feel you are not demonstrating these states of being regularly in class. So, what can you do starting tomorrow to start creating or continue creating that important connection with your students?

Lastly, as far as lesson planning goes, unless your school has you teaching directly from someone else’s lesson plans, you can basically do whatever you want to get your point across to your students in a way that they can hear you. If your primary objective is to work on building a positive self-concept and creating powerful students, then what would it be like to create a thematic unit, maybe in ELA (English/Language Arts) that focuses on this very thing? If you can create writing exercises, games, reflections, find a great novel that they can relate to (like Sister by Eloise Greenfield- my students loved that book every year), or even have then give suggestions by having a conversation with them about their lives and what they want to be more in control over, you can do so much! Use your creative juices just like you are already doing and you will come up with a world of ways to help students explore themselves while still completing the requirements you need to complete anyway. There is so much we can cover with this subject and just not enough space to write more, but hopefully this was helpful to you and keeps you on your toes!

Luv,

K

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