I suspect that somehow, I have caused adversity to bestow itself upon certain companies and other organizations. Yesterday, I was reading about the most recent disaster that I evidently caused a company to encounter. Apparently, a Virginia woman purchased a box of McDonalds chicken wings and returned home with them. When she opened the box, she discovered a fried chicken head mixed in with the wings.
Not only have I caused McDonalds misery with this disaster but also the other preposterous charges made against them in late August and early September concerning the obesity of diners who don't understand the real meaning of "super sizing." Luckily for McDonalds, I also caused Wendys a certain degree of disaster that began about the same time--the date when I purchased stocks in both companies.
Wal-Mart mysteriously has been losing ground, as has Palm who was frantically attempting to avoid disaster until I sold my stock in them. Since then, their situation has slightly improved, but I'm not sure they'll recover. Most recently, I noticed that my curse has also affected Ford who was attempting to eek out a profit until my investment in their stock was eventually discovered. I'm sure that the employees of the various Ford factories have placed my picture on the wall and are throwing bolts and nuts at it because their company's stock is declining.
Even the school district of Lockhart has experienced the anguish of my presence. For years, this school district had been on the receiving end of the Robin Hood bill which takes money from the rich districts and sends it to the poor districts. Quite mysteriously, the state of Texas suddenly abolished the Robin Hood bill soon after I moved from a rich district to a poor district.
A person might infer that I'm experiencing paranoia. I agree. After moving 540 miles south, I assumed that I would no longer be plagued with snow, blizzards, and ice storms. A couple of weeks ago, the weather made the headlines as the first snow in several years occurred in this area. I've found that I am unable to escape bizarre weather. When I visited Borger in December, I was immediately greeted with an eight-inch snow which was predicted to be a light snow. The following morning I was shoveling snow.
After contemplating this series of events, I concluded that possibly since I recently retired, the retirement system of Texas might soon be seriously threatened with an unanticipated calamity. With this possibility in mind, I decided that I should become more involved in being a substitute teacher. While substituting, I encountered one particularly peculiar incident. As the class was saying the Pledge Of Allegiance, I noticed that a student was not holding his hand over his heart. When we finished, I asked him why he wasn't holding his hand over his heart. He replied that it was against his religion. I wasn't about to touch that one, but I later wondered what the consequences would be if he were to sneeze, and another student were to reply, "God bless you." After a full week of torture, I viewed the situation as a five-day retirement appreciation seminar and vowed to find another solution to my paranoid anticipations.