TEACHERS.NET GAZETTE
JANUARY 2002
Volume 3 Number 1

COVER STORY
Harry & Rosemary Wong say, "All effective schools have a culture and it is the information one gets from a culture that sends a message to the students that they will be productive and successful." This month the Wongs offer more examples of successful school and classroom management...
COLUMNS
Effective Teaching by Harry & Rosemary Wong
Promoting Learning by Marv Marshall
4 Blocks by Cheryl Sigmon
Ask the School Psychologist by Beth Bruno
Online Classrooms by Leslie Bowman
The Eclectic Teacher by Ginny Hoover
The Busy Educator's Monthly Five (5 Sites for Busy Educators) by Marjan Glavac
Around the Block by Cheryl Ristow
Ask the Literacy Teacher by Leigh Hall
The Visually Impaired Child
ARTICLES
Teaching Is...
Avoiding the 'Stares' When Intellectually Challenging Disadvantaged Students: Partnership Lessons from the HOTS Program
Why Use an Interactive Whiteboard?
A Bakerís Dozen Reasons!
The Effects Of Diet
Bully Advice For Kids
Teaching Gayle to Read (Part 2)
Both Sides Now in Gifted Education
What Are We Aiming At--What Do We Really Want To Aim At?
Teaching Graph from the Grassroots
Why Teachers Need Tenure
A Different Perspective to the Holidays
TEACHER INSPIRATION FEATURE
A Lesson Learned
FICTION FEATURE
Follow The Wonder
REGULAR FEATURES
The Lighter Side of Teaching
Handy Teacher Recipes
Classroom Crafts
Help Wanted - Teaching Jobs
New in the Lesson Bank
Upcoming Ed Conferences
Letters to the Editor
Chatboard Poll
FYI
eIditarod 2002
Planetary Society Protests Stop to Near-Earth Object Observations
Presidential Award for Excellence in Mathematics and Science Teaching
7th Annual Multidisciplinary Symposium on Breast Disease
Arab American Students in Public Schools
School Bus Subsidies for Field Trip to 2002 Tour De Sol
Gazette Home Delivery:


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© John P. Wood for
Learning Laffs  

TOP TEN WAYS TO KEEP THE PRINCIPAL OUT OF YOUR ROOM
by YENDOR (
yendor@teachers.net)


10. Everytime you see the principal, wink at him. (no matter what sex you are)
 9.

Ask him if you can sit in his chair when he gets up because you love that nice warm feeling he leaves.

 8.

If he eats lunch with you, ask him if you can have the fat off his chicken.

 7.

Look very serious and say, "I was a principal in a past life. It's not that great."

 6.

Go up to him and say, "Pull my finger?"

 5.

Tell him you are composing a musical from the memos he sends out everyday.

 4.

Ask him if he remembers where he was when Lincoln was killed.

 3.

Tell him you like him no matter what the rest of the teachers say.

 2.

Whenever he goes somewhere, leave an ashtray on his desk filled with cigarette butts.

 

1.

 

Ask him if he finished college.


Outlandish Versus Outrageous
by Goose/TX (
goose@teachers.net)

Recently, I was visiting with a fellow teacher who related to me an incident concerning an injury her son had received while playing basketball. During a practice session, he had inadvertently been struck on the forehead, which caused a small gash. The coach notified the teacher that the laceration was severe enough that she should seek medical attention concerning the situation.

The teacher attempted to acquire the assistance of her family doctor, but the receptionist informed her that the doctor was swamped with other medical situations which made him unavailable to tend to her sonís needs. The receptionist suggested that she take him to the local emergency room, which she did.

After filling out the necessary forms, the teacherís son was finally attended to by a doctor. The doctor ascertained that the laceration could be repaired with five stitches and appropriately sewed up the laceration. The entire procedure required about fifteen minutes.

Several days later, the teacher received a bill which stated that for the 5 stitches her son received, the doctor charged $400.00, and the hospital charged her an additional $700.00 which totaled $1,100 for 5 stitches. According to my calculator, thatís $220 per stitch, $1,600 per hour for the doctor, and $2,800 per hour for the hospital.

I was a bit, no, extremely astounded by this outrageous bill, and of course the teacher was understandably flabbergasted. How could a hospital possibly justify charging $700.00 for a doctor to apply five stitches? Good grief, at those rates, if a person were to receive a severe injury and require 50 stitches, the hospital bill would be $11,000, and the doctorís bill would be $4,000, and that would be just for sewing up the person.

The teacher whom Iím referring to is a middle school teacher, and everybody knows that teachers who are able to survive teaching middle school students have an extreme amount of patience, survival skills, and an outstanding sense of humor. Otherwise, they would have bailed out to the high school or elementary where the students are more stable. This teacher arrived at a very admirable solution to the situation. Keep in mind that I am also a middle school teacher, and what I consider as admirable might be outlandish to normal folks. Her solution was that if her son ever received another laceration, she would place a leash on him and take him to a veterinarian who would probably charge less than $50.00 to sew him up.

This is a perfect example of how a selected few adults have developed the extraordinary capacity to survive the insane antics of middle school kids and live to laugh about them. Nobody but a middle school teacher could have arrived at such a simple and practical solution to such a contemptible situation. How would doctors have survived without middle school teachers to guide them through their insane years?



Today's CyberSmile...

From the Teachers.Net Four Blocks Mailring
Kim Snyder wrote:

I thought everyone would get a kick out of this...

While reviewing math symbols with my second-grade pupils, I drew a greater-than (>) and a less-than (<) sign on the chalkboard and asked, "Does anyone remember what these mean?" A few moments passed, and then a boy confidently raised his hand. "One means fast-forward," he exclaimed, "and the other means rewind!"

Kim/IN/2


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© John P. Wood for
Learning Laffs  

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