February 2009
Vol 6 No 2

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Teachers.Net Gazette Vol.6 No.2 February 2009

Cover Story by Alfie Kohn
Why Self-Discipline Is Overrated: The (Troubling) Theory and Practice of Control from Within
To inquire into what underlies the idea of self-discipline is to uncover serious misconceptions about motivation and personality, controversial assumptions about human nature, and disturbing implications regarding how things are arranged in a classroom or a society.

Harry & Rosemary Wong: Effective Teaching
To Be an Effective Teacher
Simply Copy and Paste

»Do You Have a Student Teacher?Hal Portner
»Test-taking Skills Made EasySue Gruber
»Teaching Children Refusal SkillsLeah Davies
»How to Be ConsistentMarvin Marshall
»The Busy Educator's Monthly FiveMarjan Glavac
»Dear Barbara - Advice for SubsBarbara Pressman
»What Side of the Box are YOU On?Kioni Carter
»Global Travel GuruJosette Bonafino

»Teacher Study Groups: Taking the “Risk” out of “At-Risk”Bill Page
»Can Anyone Learn to Draw?Tim Newlin
»The Heart of Mathematical ThinkingLaura Candler
»Finding Free Art Materials in Your CommunityMarilyn J. Brackney
»The Downside of Good Test ScoresAlan Haskvitz
»February 2009 Writing PromptsJames Wayne
»In The Middle School (poem)James Wayne
»Using Photographs To Inspire Writing IVHank Kellner
»Teacher Performance AssessmentPanamalai R. Guruprasad
»How To Help Victims Of Bullying: Advice For Parents & EducatorsKathy Noll
»Unwilling Student Meets Unwavering Teacher Lauren Romano
»Notes from The JungleJohn Price
»Lead the Class - Teachers as Leaders John Sweeting
»Opposing Views of a Post-Racial SocietyRoland Laird
»Who Really Needs Four Years of Math and Science? Steve A. Davidson

»Apple Seeds: Inspiring QuotesBarb Stutesman
»Today Is... Daily CommemorationRon Victoria
»The Lighter Side of Teaching
»Teacher Blogs Showcase
»Carol Goodrow’s “Healthy-Ever-After” Children’s Books
»Printable Worksheets & Teaching Aids
»Memo to the New Secretary of Education and
John Stossel: American students are NOT stupid
»Lessons, Resources and Theme Activities: February 2009
»All of the Presidents in Under 2 Minutes!, Needle Sized Art, I Am a Teacher!, How It’s Made: Copy paper, and If My Nose Was Runnin’ Money
»Live on Teachers.Net: February 2009
»T-Netters Share Favorite Recipes
»Technology in the Art Classroom
»Newsdesk: Events & Opportunities for Teachers


The Teachers.Net Gazette is a collaborative project
published by the Teachers.Net community
Editor in Chief: Kathleen Alape Carpenter
Layout Editor: Mary Miehl

Cover Story by Alfie Kohn

Effective Teaching by Harry & Rosemary Wong

Contributors this month: Alfie Kohn, Sue Gruber, Kioni Carter, Marvin Marshall, , Marjan Glavac, , Hal Portner, Leah Davies, Barbara Pressman, Tim Newlin, Bill Page, James Wayne, Hank Kellner, Josette Bonafino, Marilyn J. Brackney, Barb Stutesman, Ron Victoria, Panamalai R. Guruprasad, Alan Haskvitz, Kathy Noll, Lauren Romano, John Price, John Sweeting, Laura Candler, Roland Laird, Steve A. Davidson, and YENDOR.

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Classroom Humor...

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The Lighter Side of Teaching

Humor from the Teachers.Net Community
Teachers.Net Community
Regular Feature in the Gazette
February 1, 2009

YENDOR’s Top Ten

Top Ten Signs You Are At a Bad Faculty Meeting

  1. You were given Xanax at the door.
  1. The door prize is a framed photo of the principal's mother.
  1. Principal announces a one hour admission.
  1. Vice Principal is crying before meeting starts.
  1. You see paramedics waiting expectantly in the corner.
  1. All the teachers took the day off except you.
  1. Principal tells you what a great staff you are and it's not even the first day of school.
  1. First item on the agenda: Are pay checks really necessary?
  1. You forgot about the meeting and took Ex-Lax an hour before.

And the number one sign that this going to be a baaaad faculty meeting is:

  1. The Principal is wearing pajamas.

Funnies from the Kindergarten Chatboard

President What’s-His-Name?

Posted by MarshaB
During the election we had a student who said he was going to vote for "Rock Obama!"

Posted by Me
Too funny...we had one that wanted to vote for Rock Yourmama!

Posted by Ak
I chuckled when my student referred to him as Rockin Bama.

You Never Know What Will Come Out of the Mouths of Kinders

Posted by Cath
As kindergarten teachers I thought you'd appreciate this one. Our kids are just so darn cute! We were on the bus with all the primary students from my school going to the wave pool today. I was sitting with one of my cute little girls. She was just full of questions today!

Child - What are those rings on your hands for?
Me – One’s my wedding ring and the other my husband gave me for our anniversary
Child – Ohhh, what's a versary?
Me - It's like a birthday but instead of celebrating the day you were born you celebrate the day you got married.
Child – You’re married???
Me - Yes I am
Child - Does your mom know?
Me - Yes she knows
Child - Did she give you permission?
Me - Yes she gave me permission
Child - Well what's your husband's name?
Me - Mr. E
Child - Wow you guys even have the same name!

Posted by paws
My husband has come into class a few times so they recognize him. Last time he popped in and a child said, " teacher your dad is here again!" Is he bringing you YOUR backpack now too?"

Posted by here's another good laugh
We were working on ornaments for the kids’ parents today and I put out the pictures of everyone that I had taken and told each child to pick up his/her picture. One little guy brought his picture over to me and asked, "Is this me?"

Posted by two more to share
We are in program improvement and had a big wig come around and look at rooms. One of my really quirky kids who is just darling said to her, "I am going to read you a book" and turned to the computer, popped on his headphones, and started the wiggle works story for himself and was totally oblivious to her and what she said. She thought it was great (luckily!).

And the other day as we were acting out a story, I was pausing a lot trying to get my kids on the rug to help me retell the story for the actors, when one of my little girls said, "Teacher you better get out the book because I think you've forgotten the story!" They are just so cute!

Posted by barb
I sent home a note asking for parents to come in and help with some craft projects. A little boy told me the next day that his mama didn't have time to write me back, but she said for him to tell me that she would be there at 1:00 to help with the "c r a p s." LOL

Posted by Kinderjane/SC :-)
Here's mine- A child suggested we sing 'Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer'. I told him I don't really like that song. He asked why. I told him it is because my grandmother died on Christmas Eve. He looked at me with big eyes and asked sincerely, "Did she get run over by a reindeer?"

Posted by Heidi
We were watching one of my HeidiSongs Sing and Spell DVD's as the kids were coming in before school one morning. A parent wandered over and complimented me on the DVD. I explained that "my husband is the computer wizard, or I wouldn't be able to create anything like that." A little boy's eyes got really big and he said, "Your husband's a WIZARD??????"

Posted by Joz/LA.
Yesterday was our last day before the holiday break. I woke up hoarse. By the end of the day, there was little voice left. Right before leaving, one of the kids asked "Did you change your language?"

From the Science Teachers Mailring

The sharing of lessons related to evolution prompted one member of that vibrant group to share the following joke:

A little girl asked her mother: 'How did the human race appear?' The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made.' Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.' The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?' The mother answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his.'

» More Gazette articles...

About YENDOR...

Hi there! My name is YENDOR and I live in Alabama, the land of good Looking women and high humidity.

I was a traveling piano picker for about 25 years, a radio jock and then backed into teaching. I taught sixth grade one year and then fifth gradefor twenty-seven years.

My hobbies are computer, collecting old radio shows from the 30's-50's, classic OLD TV shows, Asian horror movies, reading, collecting autographs, and music. My favorite singer/songwriter is Michelle Shocked. If you don't like her you don't like me. My favorite comedian is W.C. Fields. My favorite author is Mark Twain.

I play the piano, bass guitar and drums. I sometimes wish I had done that for a living.

I have a freakish sense of humor and rarely agree with anyone on anything. I love practical jokes and only play them on people I like... which is a short list.

I retired from teaching two years ago and don't miss it a bit. People come up to me all the time and say, "What do you DO all day?" I simply tell them that I retire.

If you are ever in northern Alabama, come by and see me. If you don't drink sweet tea you will be shot at the door. If you put a lemon in it you will be beaten but not shot... the first time.

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