What Side of the Box are YOU On?
You might be wondering how you let what you want in, or how to help your children to get what they really want. Well, the first place to start is by thinking outside of the box.
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New contributor to the Gazette
February 1, 2009
On June 22, 2007, I spoke at an eighth grade graduation in Brooklyn. The topic was “Think Outside the Box.” I wanted to show the kids that their thoughts and beliefs are mirrored in their lives, and that they should pay close attention to what they believe to be true.
I started out by asking the crowd of 63 graduates and their guardians to raise their hands if they thought that it was difficult to get good grades or a good job. Most of the graduates raised their hands. Then I asked them if they thought that it was hard to make a lot of money. Once again, virtually all of the graduates-and their parents raised their hands. Next, I asked them to raise their hands if they believed they could be, do, and have any and everything they wanted in life.
I have to admit, it shocked me to see all of the graduates’ hands go up again. That’s when it dawned on me that many of us are on both sides of the box (inside and outside) when it comes to what we truly believe to be true about our place in the world and what we are capable of doing. How could these children, so bright and full of potential, believe that on one hand they are limited in their abilities, and then on the other hand believe that everything is open to them? Sounds like a recipe for confusion.
So, what does living on both sides of the box do to your students, or even to you? What it does is this: It causes you to become totally and unbelievably frustrated in your life when you feel like you’ve been hoping and praying for certain results, only to feel like your prayers are sitting on the back burner. Some of us then decide that maybe a higher power has another plan for us. Others of us just shrug our shoulders and forget the true power that we have to create exactly what we want in our lives!
Well, I have news for you. As I told those graduates the other day, your higher power created an intelligent universe that acts as a very real mirror in response to your thoughts and beliefs. To put it simply, whether you believe you can, or you believe you can’t, you are right. In my experience, your higher power does not make decisions on whether or not to grant you your most treasured wishes. When you ask, it is ALWAYS given. It is up to you to let it in!
Now, you might be wondering how you let what you want in, or how to help your children to get what they really want, too. Well, the first place to start is by thinking outside of the box. Do not allow others to feed you your beliefs on any subject, especially when those beliefs teach you that you are limited in any way. You must understand your own power and your ability to create whatever you believe. That is why it is so important to pay close attention to what you choose to be true in your life.
The last thing is to realize that every word, every thought, and every emotion is like a wish from Aladdin’s lamp, and you WILL experience the results in your life. Once you are clear on what you want, you must stay in line with that train of thought and look for evidence that it is true. That means if you want a respectful class that wants to learn, don’t complain about how bad they are and how much work they don’t complete! That means you are mixing your signals. What you want is already there waiting for you, and now here you are asking for more of what already is. Which one is it?
Make a commitment to stand outside the box, because your potential has no limits and cannot be contained. When you get this right, everything you and your students could ever desire whether in classroom or life will be right there, and you will know that you have completely blown the lid off your box!
Kioni Carter is a Brooklyn native, an author, as well as a life coach and educational consultant. She has been an educator for 10 years, and therefore caters to the urban school community with the express and sole purpose of taking them to a new plateau of thinking and creating in their schools and in their lives. Currently, Kioni provides coaching and training programs for educators in the NYC Public School System as well as in the education-based, non-profit sector. Her primary workshop, My Classroom RULES! is her pride and joy and she launches the My Classroom RULES membership community on September 21st of 2008. She also provides programs for the urban community at large, including the newest addition, the PIMP MY VIBE™ Project. Her dedication to the true transformation of her clients is what got her the name "The Butterfly Queen." Her workshops and tele-classes have proven themselves to be both dynamic in presentation, and thought provoking in nature. As a result of her need to influence her community and the unique quality of her work, Kioni has been invited to be part of various events, locally, nationally, and internationally.
Kioni is a graduate of Cornell University with a major in Human Development and minors in Africana Studies and Dance. Kioni is also a graduate of Long Island University-Brooklyn Campus with a Masters of Science in Elementary Education, and a graduate of the Institute for Professional Empowerment Coaching (iPEC). Kioni is an active member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
Kioni uses her straight forward and friendly personality to make her clients feel comfortable, all the while urging them to take the control of their lives that they need to in order to reach their goals. Through personal experience and professionalism, Kioni not only teaches her clients about their own personal power, but also creates a genuine atmosphere for transformation.
The name "Kioni" is a Swahili name that means "the one who sees." Kioni adopted this name to express her clarity of thought as well as her clarity of purpose, as it pertains to her work with her clients and in her community.