April 2008
Vol 5 No 4

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Teachers.Net Gazette Vol.5 No.4 April 2008

Cover Story by Marvin Marshall
Immaculate Perception
There is no such thing as immaculate perception. What you see is what you thought before you looked.

Harry & Rosemary Wong
Effective Teaching
Schools That Beat the Academic Odds

»Are We Demanding Enough of Our Students?
»The Busy Educator's Monthly Five
»Podcasting 101
»Think Outside the Box
»Problem-Based Learning Part 2: Good problems
»Ten Ways to Foster Resiliency in Children

»Finger in the Dike Protects Half the Kingdom
»April 2008 Writing Prompts
»Amusing Abacus
»Making the Grade
»The Disrespecting of Social Studies
»Classroom Magazines: More Than Just Shared Reading
»The Silenced Majority
»I Won't Learn What You Teach!
»Dear Laura Bush
»Choice, Access, and Relevance: Reading Workshop in the High School Classroom
»Stay Inside the Lines
»Chat with Grant Writing Expert LaVerne Hamlin
»Proofreading and Learning Disability
»Drexel Online Education Program

»Featured Lessons: April 2008
»Video Bytes: Abbott and Costello, Earth Day rant and more
»Today Is... Daily Commemoration for April 2008
»Live on Teachers.Net: April 2008
»The Lighter Side of Teaching
»Apple Seeds: Inspiring Quotes for Teachers
»HELP! Grading: How Do You Do It?
»Newsdesk: Events & Opportunities for Teachers


The Teachers.Net Gazette is a collaborative project
published by the Teachers.Net community
Editor in Chief: Kathleen Alape Carpenter
Layout Editor: Mary Miehl

Cover Story by Marvin Marshall

Effective Teaching by Harry & Rosemary Wong

Contributors this month: Cheryl Sigmon, Marjan Glavac, Rob Reilly, Barbara & Sue Gruber, Hal Portner, Leah Davies, Tim Newlin, James Wayne, P.R. Guruprasad, Todd Nelson, Alan Haskvitz, Mandy Yates, Bill Page, Susan Rismiller, Bradley Cook, Kimberly Payne, Kevin Coffey, John Keegan, and YENDOR.

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Classroom Humor...

Teachers.Net Favorite

The Lighter Side of Teaching

Humor from the Teachers.Net Community
Teachers.Net Community
Regular Feature in the Gazette
April 1, 2008



  1. Students started calling me PAW PAW
  1. Was using school funds to purchase Depends.
  1. Lunchroom refused to serve Ensure with meals.
  1. Kept getting World's Oldest Teacher coffee mugs for Christmas presents.
  1. Was mistakenly identified as having scoliosis because of my slumped walk.
  1. Never could master the technology of that VHS video thing.
  1. Was caught using White Out instead of Crest White Strips.
  1. Thought NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND meant I had to be sure everyone made it to the lunchroom.
  1. Kept getting the tornado and fire drill procedures mixed up. Took them out when a tornado was coming and kept them inside during a fire.
  1. Finally got to the point where I had lived through everything that was in the history book.

A Poem for Teacher

Posted by B on the Classroom Humor Chatboard

My mother asked me yesterday, how things were going at school.
She said to give her details, and to tell her what was cool.

I thought real hard, I strained my brain, and then I let it rip.
I decided not to leave anything out, as the words tumbled from my lips.

Calen got in trouble for pushing Keith in line,
Jerry got an A on his test, and Lisa’s doing fine.

Jim forgot his homework, which made the teacher frown,
Austin ran fast on the playground, at least until he fell down.

Jesse, Joan, and Jennifer giggled all day long,
The music teacher, Mrs. Staff, tried to teach a song.

Things were going really swell until Joe peeked at Tiffani’s test.
The whole class had to hear a speech about not cheating and doing your best.

Everybody said “Oooh,” when Jeremiah began to pick his nose.
The room began to stink when Linda took off her shoes and wiggled her toes.

Nobody liked it when Kelly threw up, and the phone rang three times during Spelling.
Travis was finking on all of the kids, and Teacher told him to stop telling!

Robert tipped his chair back and cracked his head on a desk.
Dale’s tooth fell out in a pool of blood, and Lori was a great big pest.

There was a practice fire drill just five minutes after Teacher started math.
Joshua yelled across the room that Becky needs a bath.

I guess nothing really special happened on this day,
But at least I am the teacher, and I’m going to get some pay!

It's in the genes

Posted by John B on the Classroom Humor Chatboard

I was discussing family resemblance with a class of 10-year olds. One bright spark informed me: "My mom said that the reason children look like their parents is because of something in your pants". This stumped me for a minute. Then I caught on. "Oh," I said, "You mean it's in your genes." "Right," he replied quite seriously. "It's something in your jeans."

If you don't straighten up ...

Posted by Pre-k teacher on the Classroom Humor Chatboard

I teach pre-k and we have a housekeeping area set up for our dramatic play. One of the little girls was in the center with one of the little boys the other day and she said, "If you don't straighten up -- I'm LEAVING YOU!" It caught me by surprise. I realized that she must be hearing this at home, but I couldn't help but laughing. It's great how something unsuspected can turn around a day for a teacher.

What a Laugh I Had Today!

Posted by Christine on the Classroom Humor Chatboard

I was earnestly trying to get the concept of MOOD in literature across to my 4th-graders. I told them it was the emotion(s) the author made you feel, and asked them for another word for "emotions." (I was looking for "feelings.") One bright boy raised his hand and confidently said "hormones."

They are priceless!

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