shared by Frankie
Teacher: What a glum face, what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours?
Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it!
Teacher: What are you reading?
Pupil: I don't know.
Teacher: But your reading aloud?
Pupil: But I'm not listening!
Teacher: Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago?
Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection?
Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!
Teacher: How can you prove the world is round?
Pupil: I didn't say it was!
Teacher: Name two pronouns?
Pupil: Who? Me?
Teacher: What's an American Indian's wife called?
Pupil: A squaw
Teacher: That's right, and what are their babies called?
Teacher: Fred, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting and you've only done it 7 times?
Pupil: Looks like my counting isn't too good either!
Teacher: Fred, I'm glad to see your writing has improved.
Pupil: Thank you
Teacher: Now I can see how bad your spelling is though!
Pupil: The art teacher doesn't like what I'm making?
Dad: Why is that, what are you making?
Teacher: Can anyone tell me what the wife of a Sultan is called?
Pupil: A sultana!
Teacher: Where are elephants found?
Pupil: I don't know, they are so big I didn't think they could get lost!
Teacher: If you add 34, 312 + 76, 188, divide the answer by 3 and times by 4, what do you get?
Pupil: The wrong answer!
Teacher: If there are seven flies a desk and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left?
Pupil: Just the squashed one!
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