TEACHERS.NET GAZETTE
Volume 4 Number 8
COVER STORY
New teacher induction . . . what does that have to do with me, a veteran educator?
It Takes a Community
to Induct a Teacher
...
REGULAR FEATURES
Apple Seeds: Inspirational quotes by Barb Erickson
Special Days This Month by Ron Victoria
Featured School
Classroom Photos by Members of the Teachers.Net Community
The Fire of Drift-Wood by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
The Lighter Side of Teaching
  • Boys to Men
  • Bad News For School Year 2003-2004
  • Georgia's NCLB Head-Tricks
  • Teacher Jokes
  • Schoolies
  • Woodhead
  • Handy Teacher Recipes
    Classroom Crafts
    Help Wanted - Teaching Jobs
    Fun with Food: Hola Jalapeno from the Lesson Bank
    PRINTABLES
  • Birthday Cards
  • Moose Book Cover and Labels
  • Teddy Bear ABC Chant
  • Reading Log
  • Popcorn Words
  • More Popcorn Words
  • Upcoming Ed Conferences
    Letters to the Editor
    TEACHER INSPIRATION
    "Teacher, You Touched My Life" by anonymous
    ON-SITE INSIGHTS
    Making Life Easier in the Classroom from the Teachers.Net Chatboard
    Teaching Positive Attitude Toward Math by Roger Fuller
    August Columns
    August Articles
    August Informational Items
    Gazette Home Delivery:

    Teachers.Net Humor Chatboard...
    Teachers, yuk it up at the Teachers.Net Humor Chatboard. Contribute your favorite anecdote or joke and put a smile on the face of someone you'll never meet! The Classroom Humor Chatboard is updated regularly by contributions from teachers everywhere - submit your post today! Classroom Humor Chatbord.


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    The Lighter Side of Teaching

    Here at Teachers.Net we realize that laughter is the best medicine, and we've got your prescription filled! Visit our Classroom Humor Chatboard and combat classroom stress by enjoying the smiles that make teaching so rewarding.



    © John P. Wood for
    Learning Laffs  

    Totally off the record...
    From totallyofftherecord.com

    Boys to Men


    I teach pre-k and was playing the Bridget Jones movie soundtrack during naptime. I had been playing it for about a week when I hear one of my 4-year-old boys singing "It's Raining Men (Hallelujah)."

    Enjoy more anonymous teacher stories or even share your own at www.TotallyOffTheRecord.com


    Georgia's NCLB Head-Tricks  

    © Georgia Hedrick  


    Bad News For School Year 2003-2004
    shared by Jezzy


    Due to the projected increase in workload in the coming year due to the new master schedule and the No Child Left Behind Act, the district has decided that it can no longer afford for you to take time out of your busy schedule to go to the restroom. Instead, to increase teacher efficiency the district has gone to considerable expense to remodel your classroom over the summer to accommodate your restroom needs starting in August.
    See classroom layout below.


    Chuckles
    Teacher Jokes

    shared by Frankie


    Teacher: What a glum face, what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours?
    Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it!

    ♦♦♦

    Teacher: What are you reading?
    Pupil: I don't know.
    Teacher: But your reading aloud?
    Pupil: But I'm not listening!

    ♦♦♦

    Teacher: Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago?
    Pupil: Me!

    ♦♦♦

    Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection?
    Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

    ♦♦♦

    Teacher: How can you prove the world is round?
    Pupil: I didn't say it was!

    ♦♦♦

    Teacher: Name two pronouns?
    Pupil: Who? Me?

    ♦♦♦

    Teacher: What's an American Indian's wife called?
    Pupil: A squaw
    Teacher: That's right, and what are their babies called?
    Pupil: Squawkers!

    ♦♦♦

    Teacher: Fred, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting and you've only done it 7 times?
    Pupil: Looks like my counting isn't too good either!

    ♦♦♦

    Teacher: Fred, I'm glad to see your writing has improved.
    Pupil: Thank you
    Teacher: Now I can see how bad your spelling is though!

    ♦♦♦

    Pupil: The art teacher doesn't like what I'm making?
    Dad: Why is that, what are you making?
    Pupil: Mistakes!

    ♦♦♦

    Teacher: Can anyone tell me what the wife of a Sultan is called?
    Pupil: A sultana!

    ♦♦♦

    Teacher: Where are elephants found?
    Pupil: I don't know, they are so big I didn't think they could get lost!

    ♦♦♦

    Teacher: If you add 34, 312 + 76, 188, divide the answer by 3 and times by 4, what do you get?
    Pupil: The wrong answer!

    ♦♦♦

    Teacher: If there are seven flies a desk and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left?
    Pupil: Just the squashed one!

    ♦♦♦


    Latest Posts on the Classroom Humor Chatboard...
    More Classroom Humor...

    © John P. Wood for
    Learning Laffs  

    # 2164127