Recent books make it clear that, no matter how hard we try, there is no one right answer for how to raise children. Yet, no matter how we do it, we need to raise resilient children who have the confidence and motivation. (I call them the “MegaSkills®” that it takes to grow up strong and responsible.)

When parents step in to protect children from all possible harm, how are children to learn how to protect themselves from the less than kind world to the less than kind classmates?

Children need experience with difficulties and with overcoming them and even living with them. Children are not hot house flowers. They are extraordinarily resilient.

I worry about all the over-protection children experience today and I regret the loss of streets for informal childhood play in favor of today’s more formal play dates. I regret the loss for kids of being able to ride their bikes to the far reaches of the town, rather than having to constantly worry about the dangers all around them.

There is no one formula for parent involvement, no set rules. But there is a rule of thumb - - it’s the difference between being the coach and being the player. When a parent is involved as a coach to children, it’s an appropriate role. When the coach runs onto the field to be a player, that’s when the parent involvement lines are being breached.

What children need from parents goes well beyond the protection even of the biggest SUV. I’d feel a lot better about the SUV’s on the road, ostensibly protecting children, if I could be sure that inside of these big cars is an ongoing parent/child conversation, the sharing of hopes, dreams and values that can provide the truest protection for these children as they grow to be adults.

Steel is nice, but the longest lasting protection for children is found in the softer places - - their brain and their heart. When it comes to school success, coaching children to do their own homework can help. Doing it for them is over-involvement, and it hurts.

Discussion/ Reflection Questions:

What causes too little or too much parent involvement at your school?

What one strategy have you developed to build more effective involvement?

[Use the Discussion forum to post your responses - Editor.]

MegaSkills® Song and Video for Your Use!
A 4 minute video of the new MegaSkills® song – Enjoy it and use it!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkfi9bdmhHE
This video and song can also be found at www.dorothyrich.net

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